Let me start by saying, Peru is NOT the way my mother portrayed it to be. Mum almost convinced me I was going to get robbed, kidnapped and shot, all in the one day. I have been here over two weeks and so far, there has not been a moment i have feared for my life. Here a few of my favourite mum quotes in regard to my trip (mostly in reference to my hair): "I hope you're going to wear a toupee in south america", "You can't wear that (in reference to my red mohair cardigan) or you will get killed", "You won't be able to speak the language so they won't understand you are normal" and.. "People are going to think you're in a gang". She also begged me to wear a wig. Gotta love mums advice/wisdom.
So to update you. My journey began in Lima where i hung out with Isabella Moores sweet friends. They cooked for me, showed me around and made me feel extremely welcome. The day after i arrived, I met up with my partner in crime - Joey Phi. She is so great. We have the same hair cuts, are both vegetarian plus she doesn´t drink or smoke either! We totally come from the same planet of weirdness. We lapped up the markets in Lima where I got my first taste of what techni coloured ravey tourist items to buy were to come! What I can`t understand, is why more native Peruivans don`t sport their bright colours! Sure, the traditional ladies in the smaller villages look beyond fabulous, but in the bigger cities, everyone is so conservative and choose to dress dull. This fact makes Joey and I`s appearance even more funny than usual. In London, no one looks twice at me, but here..... wow. They make us feel so `special`and very alien. So, when the native people ask us where we are from (which happens every three steps), we tell them we are from out of space. Works a treat. They just laugh... but we can tell they don`t know what to believe! When we were in Arequipa, there was a relgious ceremony/parade on the street and when we walked past, everything pretty much stopped and even the tourists stopped to take photos of us. It can be pretty creepy at times and not nice on the odd occasion when we are `not in the mood.` After Lima, we headed straight for the Ica desert. We stayed in a hostel at an Oasis in the Huacachina desert. While we were there, we went sand boarding with an extremely sleazy driver who pretty much told us he likes to have sex A LOT and did we want to go dancing one on one later. (I have no idea where he meant cause the village is made up of about six establishments - his house?! - i don`t think so pappi) The next day, we tripped to the Paracas desert where the desert meets the beach. The villages reeked of smelly fish and the landscapes were pretty. That night, we caught the long winded night bus and spent the following few days in Aqueripa exploring the city and buying silly amounts of yummy tourist nic nacks. Luckily, Joey has some sweet Spanish speaking skills so she is THE BEST at heckling/bargaining. Thank the gods for her cause otherwise, I would get RIPPED, every time! Another thing Peru is good for, is the overload of scrunchies (one of the finer things i enjoy in life). I thought I was getting a fair dinkum price in Brisbane at 3 bucks a pop, but I was so wrong... Here, I pay 30 cents per scrunchie! See below, my collection so far... Also, can I just say how delicious the avocados are here?! Wow... I have been woofing minimum one per day. (Better start thinking of heavier dance moves for when I get back). From Aqueripa, we headed to the Colca Canyon (the second largest canyon in the world) where we did some fully sick `peruvian drag` photo shoots and gazed at the beauty of our desolate surroundings. Now we are in Puno and Joey is sick, which totally sucks but a native medicine man just gave her some plants to drink so hopefully she is ok tomorrow when we hit the Uros island on Lake Titicaca. So thats it for now... Hope you liked the long reading! I will write again after my journey here and to Cusco where Angus Gruzman is potentially meeting us to head to the jungle. All in all, I HIGHLY reccomend getting your ass to Peru. It is WINNING!